Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
