I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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