how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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