That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
