that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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