is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
