This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
