well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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