It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
