So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
