We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
