Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize