I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize