giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
