My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
