do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
