Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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