Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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