Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
