How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
