p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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