I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
