and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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