Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
