ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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