after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
