Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
