It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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