TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
