i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need to align my fucking chakras
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize