Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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