is your mom at the bar?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
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We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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