The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize