you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
