May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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