I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
