I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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