a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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