i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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