Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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