tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
