3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
