apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
