I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
