More tranny stories later!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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