just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
