She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize