I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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