I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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