I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
