i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize