I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
