I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
