can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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