The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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