You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
