I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
