The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Houston, we have a blender
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
