And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
