he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
