My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
