You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
