Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
