NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
