i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
