How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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